Saturday, August 11, 2012

Be Careful What You Wish For ...

How often have I wished for time to myself, peace, freedom from the myriad practical responsibilities, the space to complete my activities uninterrupted....

Now I have that, and I am mourning the absence of those interruptions and tasks. I want my husband back! [At this point please see previous post, if you haven't already read it.]

I will have him back in various ways, from time to time, but what strikes me most forcibly just now is that we'll miss a lot of the spontaneous, immediate interaction. If he's feeling down for a moment, I won't be there with a hug or a word to make him feel better. I just have to hope that someone else will, and that he'll have the wit to ask. And it's not all one way, you know. Even the very night he went wandering, earlier he was cuddling me and giving me Reiki because I was ill. I do have my own Reiki hands, but the touch of his is very special. 'Best in the business' I always said, and it's still true.

But there is no help for it. I know this, and also I did a detailed Tarot reading just now as to how I should proceed. To sum up: Embrace the new!

At the moment, though, we are still in transition. He's still in hospital, having contracted a urinary tract infection. I'm a lot better, improving each day, but still coughing and worried that I might still be infectious. One more day home, I think, before I visit him.

A week with no contact but frustrating phone calls. He forgets to put his hearing aids in, and the infection has made him confused. No wonder I'm feeling disconnected. When I can give him a hug, we'll both feel better.

5 comments:

  1. I can't imagine how difficult such decisions must be, even when you know they are for the best. Best of wishes to you and your husband.

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  2. That has to be very hard on you both, Rosemary. I have said a prayer for you, hubby, and the situation. 'Bout all I can do right now.

    Oh yes, Adi. She isn't hurting now as she gets a monthly shot of (forgot) and a nightly Previcox pill. She even runs when she is happy or is headed home. I hope those meds work for a long, long time.
    ..

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  3. Thank you both for the prayers and good wishes. And many thanks also, Jim, for the update on Adi.

    My arthritic cat gets a monthly cartrophen injection and it keeps him as spry as a youngster (which he is not).

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  4. This is a difficult time. I wish you the best.

    JzB

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  5. Oh Rosemary, you are still fighting the good fight. Bless you and your husband. So hard to be apart. Hope you are both well enough to be together soon.

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