How often have I wished for time to myself, peace, freedom from the myriad practical responsibilities, the space to complete my activities uninterrupted....
Now I have that, and I am mourning the absence of those interruptions and tasks. I want my husband back! [At this point please see previous post, if you haven't already read it.]
I will have him back in various ways, from time to time, but what strikes me most forcibly just now is that we'll miss a lot of the spontaneous, immediate interaction. If he's feeling down for a moment, I won't be there with a hug or a word to make him feel better. I just have to hope that someone else will, and that he'll have the wit to ask. And it's not all one way, you know. Even the very night he went wandering, earlier he was cuddling me and giving me Reiki because I was ill. I do have my own Reiki hands, but the touch of his is very special. 'Best in the business' I always said, and it's still true.
But there is no help for it. I know this, and also I did a detailed Tarot reading just now as to how I should proceed. To sum up: Embrace the new!
At the moment, though, we are still in transition. He's still in hospital, having contracted a urinary tract infection. I'm a lot better, improving each day, but still coughing and worried that I might still be infectious. One more day home, I think, before I visit him.
A week with no contact but frustrating phone calls. He forgets to put his hearing aids in, and the infection has made him confused. No wonder I'm feeling disconnected. When I can give him a hug, we'll both feel better.